Dream Dictionary: Sex

Sex

To dream about sex refers to the integration and merging of contrasting aspects of yourself. It represents psychological completion. You need to be more receptive and incorporate aspects of your dream sex partner into your own character. Consider the nature of the love-making. Was it passionate? Was it slow? Was it wild? The sex act parallels aspects of yourself that you wish to express. A more direct interpretation of the dream may be your libido's way of telling you that it has been too long since you have had sex. It may indicate repressed sexual desires and your needs for physical and emotional love. If you are looking for a place to have sex, then the dream may be analogous to your search for intimacy and closeness. You want to rekindle some relationship. If you dream of having sex in a public place, then the dream implies that others are talking about your private relationship.

To dream about sex with someone other than your spouse or significant other suggests dissatisfaction with the physical side of your relationship. On the other hand, it may be harmless fantasy. In such situations, you may find that you are less inhibited sexually. Perhaps you need to bring the same sense of adventure into your existing relationship.

To dream that you are having sex with an ex or someone who is not your current mate denotes your reservations about embarking in a new relationship or situation. You may feel nervous about exposing yourself and are feeling a resurgence of those old emotions and feelings that you felt back when you and your ex were together. If you are approaching your wedding date, then is not uncommon to experience especially erotic adventures with partners other than your intended spouse. This may be due to the intensity of the sexual passion with your fianc�. It also relates to the new roles that you will be taking on and the uncertainty that that may bring.

To dream that you are having sex with a stranger represents uncertainty about what is ahead. Alternatively, the dream allows you to experiment freely without having any hang ups, emotional baggage or preconceived notions associated with a person you would know. In such a scenario, you are able to let loose and express your desires, passions and emotions. In particular, if you dream of having sex with multiple partners at the same time, then it indicates that you are feeling detached in your personal relationship. You feel that sex is just an act devoid of any emotion or passion. Perhaps your sex life has become too automated.

To dream that you are having sex with a friend refers to the closeness you share with your friend. Because you two share so much between each other and know so much about each other, the dreaming mind may depict this closeness as sex. Alternatively, such a dream indicates a level of attraction between you and your friend, but you are too afraid to act on it. Thus your desires are manifested in a dream.

If you are heterosexual and you dream that you are having sex with someone of the same sex, then it represents an expression of greater self love and acceptance. You need to be in better touch of your feminine or masculine side. The dream does not necessarily imply homosexual desire.

To dream that you are having sex with a celebrity indicates your drive to be successful. You are striving for recognition. Consider what movies you associate this celebrity with for clues as to where and what you want to achieve success in.

To see others having sex in your dream refers to your own desires of being more adventurous in your own sex life.

To see your parents having sex in your dream indicate that you are seeing similar aspects between their relationship and your current relationship. Most cringe at the thought of your parents having sex, so this dream imagery is really trying to get your attention. Consider your parents' real life relationship together and what you can learn from it.

To dream that you are the opposite sex suggests that you need to incorporate certain qualities of the opposite sex. Ask yourself how do you feel being a man or a woman? In what ways can you incorporate those feelings into your waking life.

Sex Toy

To see or use a sex toy in your dream suggests that you are feeling unsatisfied in some area of your life, which may or may not relate to sex. There is a void in your life. Alternatively, the dream may be a play on words and that you are not taking sex seriously. Perhaps you have an immature attitude towards sex. More directly, the dream indicates your desires for a more gratifying and/or exciting sex life.


Sexuality

To dream about your own sexuality signifies the secrets and meaning of life. You may be dealing with life issues of birth, marriage, and/or death. Alternatively, the dream suggests that you are concerned about losing your sex appeal.

Self-Blessing Breast Blessing

In the Witch's Brew Spell Deck by Witch Bree there are two spells of self-blessing I love and I think they could go very well together. I wanted to share them here in hopes my readers find them as helpful as I have.

Self-Blessing

"The Time You Take to restore yourself is previous. Perform a self-blessing every day. Take dried sage and aromatic lavender and tie it up in a muslin sack. Breathe in the aroma deeply three times. Beginning at the top of your head, the crown chakra, pass the pouch down to your feet, gently touching your other sacred chakras: throat, solar plexus, stomach, and pelvis. Then, holding the bag of herbs over your heart and speak aloud:
Gone are sorrows, illness, and woe,
Here wisdom and health begin to flow.
My heart is whole, joy fills my soul. 
Blessed be me."

Breast Blessing

"Celebrate The Beauty Of Your Body. Take one cup of natural beeswax and heat very slowly. Add one-quarter cup sesame oil and sir until the wax has melted. Let it cool to skin temperature and add:

Eight drops sandalwood oil + Five drop lemon oil 

Two drops rose oil

Anoint yourself with the oil slowly, gently, and lovingly as you cup each breast and chant:
We all come from the Goddess. I am she; she is me. 
My breasts are holy and beautiful. 
I love myself, I love my body, I am consecrated.
Your temple is not prepared for love!"

Bring Me a Polyamorous Love Spell

This spell is from one of my favorite books, Pagan Polyamory by Raven Kaldera. I have re-written the spell to be easier for BOS use, for me. If you would like to read the original spell, feel free to check it out in the book on page 11.








Tools
A large pillar candle with multiple wicks in red, pink, green or other appropriate color.
Essential oil blend of love scents such as violet, rose, apple blossom, etc.
Colored thread, one for each person participating, that represent a trait they are looking for in the new lover.
A lighter or matches.

Timing
(this is not in the book but I wanted to add it from my own studies)
Fridays are Freya's Day and associated with love goddesses such as Freya, Aphrodite, Venus.
Waxing Moon is a great time for magic that draws something in and manifesting things into fruition.
So I recommend a Friday on a Waxing Moon.
If you want a specific time, 6 is the number of Venus, so 6 am with the coming dawn and beginnings or 6 pm which is a time of relaxation at the end of the day and particularly beneficial for those who practice nocturnal witchcraft.

Each person involved in the spell should get oil on their fingers. If there are more than one of you, start by anointing each other and affirming your bonds of love and/or friendship. Then each person anoints the candle saying, "I come to the flame of love with an open heart."

Each person ties one of their threads around the bottom of the pillar candle. (Although you can have as many threads as you want, it's good not to fill up more than the bottom third of the candle, because you will be burning it down.) The other end of teach thread gets loosely tied around the left wrist of the person who brought it (the thread), in a big enough loop that they can easily slip their hand out. The querent(s) stand around the candle, tied to it by threads, and one person lights the candle, saying, "We are blessed with the presence of the flame of love."

Each person then recites the following prayer, either one after the other or as a call-and-response with one person reading it off and the others reciting it back:

Lady of Love who dances in our hearts,

We call you to this place

In the heart of this dancing flame.

Love flows in this circle in abundance,

Enough and more for many lovers,

and we with to share it still further.

You who are the magnetism of the universe,

Draw the right lover to these open arms, 

and help us to trust in your decision.

You who are the spark of passion, 

Let this yearning be a siren call

Heard only by the right ears.

Let it be a song in their blood,

A voice in the wind,

That brings them to the light of this circle

and into the love of a family.

We swear that here in this place,

Their unique soul will be appreciated

and the song of their heart desperately needed

to match, and to complement,

the songs that are sung here tonight.

Everyone takes the threads off their wrists and wraps the remaining lengths around the candle.
It should be allowed to burn down to the point where the threads begin. During this time, play music (either yourself on a instrument or on a CD) of your favorite love songs and sing along to them. Sing along, dance, and have a love-song festival for the next hour or so. This is your offering to the Love Goddesses.

Once it has been burned to this point, it should be wrapped in cloth and put somewhere safe where it will not be lost.
If the Gods of love are happy with your offering, they will send someone. It may take a long time - days, weeks, months, or a year or two, especially if you've made very specific requests.
Just make sure when they show up in your life that you are paying attention to recognize them and to sign for the package.

Female Domination Hoodoo

When looking at some hoodoo and voodoo articles I came across a Female Domination Spell and it was just too interesting not to share.

Lucky Mojo is a site/shop run by Catherine Yronwood. I've met several people who have read her book and taken her class and are very impressed. I might one day take her class myself but that'll be after I finish paying for the umpteen different things that still demand my money and time...-sighs-

According to Yronwood, the Hoodoo tradition "consider such female domination normal, common, and even necessary to ensure a satisfactory relationship." I know a few submissives that would agree ^_^

This Female Domination charm is called a Nation Sack and originates from Memphis, TN

Tools:

A piece of red flannel and red string or a red mojo bag
A small red candle
A dime from each of your birth years (i.e. my dime would be from 1988, the year I was born)
High John the Conqueror Root
Queen Elizabeth root
A saucer or offering plate
Something personal or biological belonging to the man (a scrap of cloth with his sweat on it, his hair or best yet his semen)
Dressing oil such as Follow Me Boy
A scrap of paper with his name written on it 9 times

Timing:
The day you start your period or during the full moon

Place the paper with the man's name under the overturned saucer.
Carve his name 9 times on the red candle going in a spiral down the candle (I want to add that doing this clockwise would be best)
Dress (rub down) the candle with your menstrual blood (or vaginal fluid) and the dressing oil
Place the candle on the overturned saucer and say "[Man's Name] come under my command."
Light the candle.
Dress the dime of your birth year with your mentrual blood (vaginal fluid) and say "This is [Your Name]" and the dime from his with the dressing oil saying "This is [Man's Name]" and set them before the candle.
Dress the High John the Conqueror Root with your menstrual blood and the dressing oil and say "This is [Man's Name]" and set it on his dime.
Dress the Queen Elizabeth Root with your menstrual blood and the dressing oil saying "This is [Your Name]" and set it on your dime.
Set his personal item on the flannel or in the red mojo bag.
Dress the bad with the dressing oil and stroke 9 times saying "[Man's Name], follow me."
Pass bag through candle smoke saying "[Man's Name], come to me."
Place dimes and roots into the bag saying "[Man's Name], stay with me."
When the candle is done burning, take the paper out from under the saucer and fold it towards you saying, "[Man's Name], follow me."
Turn it and fold it towards you saying, "[Man's Name], come to me."
Place the paper in the bag and say, "[Man's Name], stay with me."
Dispose of left over candle wax at a crossroads, throwing it East over your left shoulder and walk away without looking back.
Wear the bag when you're with the man or place it in the bedroom where he will not see or touch it.

Yronwood has a few other Female Domination spells on her site that I recommend reading. Even if you don't believe in this sort of thing, it is certainly interesting to think about dominating men or women through magic.

Dressing oils like Follow Me Boy and other items mentioned in this spell can be found on Yronwood's website as well as other hoodoo and curio shops like Conjured Cardea on Etsy.

Mirror of the Soul

This is an exercise from Secrets of Sex Magic by Frater U.D. and I thought it was a fantastic exercise for anyone who is doing some inner work or keeps a submissive journal or Book of Shadows.

Consider the questions as suggestions for meditation, contemplation and self-exploration.

1. What does sexuality mean to me? What do I expect from it?

2. How satisfied/dissatisfied am I with my existing sexuality?

3. What are my sexual weaknesses?

4. What are my sexual strengths?

5. What are my sexual taboos? What forms of sex do I consider impossible?

6. What are my sexual insecurities?

7. Mentally reviewing my earliest sexual experiences - autoerotic as well as homo/heteroerotic - how have these first sexual encounters shaped my current sexuality?

8. Am I sexually active or passive?

9. How do I react to sexual disappointments and frustrations?

10. Why do I deal with magic? What do I expect from it?

11. Why do I deal with sex magic? What do I expect from it?

12.
13.
14.
Create 3 questions that you consider personally relevant and important.

This is not a test. There are no right answers or points. The only wrong answers are ones in which you are not honest with yourself.

I have found this exercise to be very helpful with inner work so I thought I would share. I hope you all find it helpful too.

The 8-Fold Path, Sex Magic & BDSM

 A Page out of the Erotomantic's Book of Shadows...

The Eight Fold Path of the Gardnerian Tradition

1. Meditation or Concentration
2. Chants, Spells, Invocations
3. Projection of the Astral Self or Trance
4. Incense, Drugs, Wine, etc
5. Dancing
6. Blood Control - use of cords
7. The Scourge
8. The Great Rite

Raven Digitalis in Goth Craft says of the 8-fold path,
“Gerald Gardner and his associates understood ‘sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll’ to be spiritual gateways – codes of ascension – and applied this knowledge to early Wiccan teachings.”
The Eight-fold Path is also called
“Eight Paths to Reach the Center,”
the Center being the Higher Self or connection with the Divine through the Self. Digitalis goes on to explain that there are five unmentioned things needed in the Path and these are “intention, preparation, invocation, consecration, and purification.”
These unmentioned points can be explained as deciding to perform an act such as a sex magic ritual for healing, and preparation by creating a sacred space, calling quarters and any deities desired, and cleansing and consecrating any tools (i.e. floggers, candles, massage oil).

In the Gardner Book of Shadows, the use of the 8-Fold Way is vaguely explained with a few cautions. In the end, however, it is left up to the initiate to learn these ways from others in the coven or through their own experimentation and pursuit of these mysteries.

The First step on the Path – Meditation

“This in practice means forming a mental image of what is desired, and forcing yourself to see that it is fulfilled, with the fierce belief and knowledge that it can and will be fulfilled, and that you will go on willing till you force it to be fulfilled. Called for short, Intent.”
This is a pretty basic definition of what Meditation meant to Gardner. In sex magic and BDSM, meditation can also be put into terms of preparation. This is the act of turning inward to prepare yourself for what is to come – be it a sexual rite to bring abundance into your home or your first time being whipped with a dragon tongue.
This is also a key step leading into #2…

The Second step on the Path – Astral Projection and Trance

Instead of Trance, in the subject of BDSM, I’d like to use the word Head Space.
We’ve all heard of SubSpace, DomSpace, even Littles-space. This is when the submissive, Dominant, or little is in the mindset in which they can truly release themselves to the role they are in.
The Submissive Guide has a fantastic article on sub-space: Sub Space: The Ultimate Frontier

The Third step on the Path – Chants, Spells, Invocation.

This can be anything from mood music to a mantra.
One of the best uses of invocations I’ve ever read was on FetLife in which the submissive was used as a vessel and she and her Master invoked their patron goddess into her through meditation and through ceremonial whipping to bring her into a spiritual frenzy of passion and sexuality. It was a beautiful ceremony.

The following is from PaganBDSM site, author was not posted and could be used as a chant or mantra before sex or bondage magic:

Prayer for a Slave
I offer myself to your will,
To better serve your needs.
I offer myself to be your tool,
For my path is one of usefulness.
I offer myself to be used,
For to be used is to be valued.
I offer myself to be honed
To give me a finer edge.
I offer myself to be changed, 
That I may become a vessel,
A manifestation of your will.


The Fourth step on the Path – incense, Drugs, Wine, etc.

According to the Gardnerian Book of Shadows:

“Whatever is used to release the Spirit. (Note. One must be very careful about this. Incense is usually harmless, but you must be careful. If it has bad aftereffects, reduce the amount used, or the duration of the time it is inhaled. Drugs are very dangerous if taken to excess, but it must be remembered that there are drugs that are absolutely harmless, though people talk of them with bated breath, but Hemp is especially dangerous, because it unlocks the inner eye swiftly an d easily, so one is tempted to use it more and more. If it is used at all, it must be with the strictest precautions, to see that the person who uses it has no control over the supply. This should be doled out by some responsible person, and the supply strictly limited.)”

In BDSM, the use of alcohol and recreational drugs (even those used for spiritual purposes) is usually frowned upon and prohibited in a public setting such as a club, dungeon, or play party. This falls under the association with SSC – Safe Sane and Consensual. It is understood that someone under the influence of drugs and alcohol is unable to safely consent to what is about to happen to them in a BDSM scene. Also, alcohol and drugs that cause thinning of the blood can cause more bruising or even bleeding than would normally be considered safe.

That being said, the ritualistic used of drugs has a long history. Ayahuasca and peyote (Lophophora williamsii) as well as psilocybin mushrooms all have a history of magical use in shamanic and magical practice. Alcohol also has a magical history from wine to mead to ale used in ceremonial rite.

Digitalis explains the use of drugs and alcohol in Goth Craft as such:

“Alcohol and other natural drugs do not exist just to ‘fuck you up.’ Everything is designed with a purpose, and each substance can serve as a conduit to channel spiritual energies and open gateways of perception in the user…Some groups of Witches and spiritualists gather to use certain drugs other than marijuana for specific spiritual purposes. Reasons include vision quests, astral voyages, energetic healing, and extreme divination, to name a few.” However, even he has a few sentences of caution, “All participants in group circles must be completely honest about their current states of being with the other members involved. This includes being under the influence of a substance, even if the magickal procedure at hand is only celebratory in nature…Certainly, if a ceremony is centered on the use of a particular drug for spiritual purposes, then all participants must be aware of the other members; states of being, including their limits, before using and their states of being during the high…What I’m saying is, be smart about what you do. Be cautious and aware of what you put into your body and how it affects the whole of your person.”

Of course, for those who do not wish to participate in the recreational and spiritual use of drugs and/or alcohol, incense can be used to influence meditation and trance. As many who have used it know, incense sets the mood just as much as a romantic bottle of red wine. Scents like patchouli and sandalwood are fantastic to set the mood for a bedroom scene as well as a sacred space for sexual rites.

The Fifth step on the Path is the Dance and Kindred Practices

The Dance in the paths of sex magic can be taken literally with an act of sensual dance – think Strip-tease or even Belly Dance. Sensual dance, much like ritualistic dance, raises energy. If you’ve ever been to a strip club and felt the energy of the room you can almost tangibly feel the ache of the men and women there watching. This is similar to the energy that can be raised in a ritual setting for sex magic.
This could also loosely refer to the dance a submissive does as she is bound to a rack and squirms beneath the lashes of a flogger.

The Sixth step on the Path is Blood Control, Breath Control, and Kindred Practices

The use of blood control with cords and breath control in BDSM is a practice surrounded by a lot of excitement and taboo.
Just as it is used with great care to the delicacies of the human form in pagan ritual, so too should great care be taken when using blood control and breath control in sexual practice.
Jay Wiseman, author of SM 101: A Realistic Introduction wrote a fantastic essay on safety in breath control play HERE called The Medical Realities of Breath Control Play.

Some traditions believe that the 6th step is control over the body in general - everything from bodily fluids, bodily reactions, to controlling dreams and developing psychic powers. This can be taken a step further in the realm of BDSM in that a submissive could take it as controlling the self during a scene - not allowing the pain of the moment to control the body but rather a mind over matter situation.

The Seventh step on the Path is the Scourge

Anyone who has participated in impact play during a BDSM scene can remember the feel of the scourge. In this case the scourge can be an O-whip, a flogger, or a cat-o-nine. Being scourged with one of these tools can bring blood to the skin, give a rush of endorphins, and send the recipient into sub-space.

Digitalis defines the scourge in its own section in Goth Craft:

“The Witches’ scourge is quite a bit milder than the early Christian versions and is quite ‘fluffy’ compared to the ancient Roman scourge. Instead of being made of metal and knotted with hooks, rocks, and bones, it usually is now in the form of a relatively soft cat-of-nine-tails, and is not designed to tear flesh and punish heretics! The tails of the Witches; scourge can be made of leather, faux leather, or thick string. A number of knots can be tied in each string, each holding the energy of a different blessing the person being scourged should receive.
‘For modern Witches, scourging is also used as a tool to exorcise deamons, diseases, and malignancies from someone, and a quick cleansing smack of the scourge is a requirement to enter the sacred circle for some Witches…
‘In traditional initiation rituals, the scourge is used to induce a small amount of sharp, momentary pain to remind the initiate of the vulnerability of the physical body and to increase blood flow to strengthen a trance.”

The Eighth and final step on the Past is the Great Rite

The Great Rite – here referring to the actual act of union. In the sacred circle this could simply be the symbolic act of the High Priest lowering the tip of the athame into the chalice held by the High Priestess. However, in regards to sex magic, this is this is the culminating sexual act. This could be an astral union between two people or a magical practitioner and an astral being such as a succubus. This could also refer to the act of masturbation by a solitary practitioner. Usually, though, it is an act between two or more people after raising energy with the previous practices.

Digitalis explained the Great Rite:

“Witches also traditionally perform the Great Rite, a ritual procedure in which the male practitioner (or person honing male energy) draws the God into himself and the female practitioner (or person honing female energy) invokes the Goddess. While in a fully drawn circle, the two unite the masculine and feminine currents, cultivating the energy of fertility, physically or mentally…To Pagans, sex is seen as a metaphor of divine union and the connection between the heavens and the earth.”

As for the concept of sex magic, Digitalis states, “ritual sex is often used either to heal the land and the earth or as a means of encouraging ‘inner’ fertility and personal growth…Sex magic should be performed between two consenting individuals of legal age. I strongly believe that both individuals making love should be aware if sexual magick is being performed…if one party is uninformed of energy work, it may as well be considered magickal sexual abuse.”

He goes on to say, “Sex magick is a very powerful force indeed. When two people come together in a physical bond, a certain essence is created due to the fusion of two energy patterns…When physical sensations increase during sex, spiritual gates open. During the time building up to climax, energy is woven between the two individuals and finally projected upward in a cone of power…Where this energy is directed is entirely up to the couple.”

Combinations and Short Cuts

The 5 unmentioned essentials and 8 Paths or Ways cannot always be combined in one rite. Meditation and dancing do not usually combine well (unless you are skilled in the ways of walking meditation), but forming the mental image and the dance may be well combined with Chants. Spells combined with scourging and blood or breath control, followed by the Great Rite or sex, form a splendid combination. Meditation, following scourging, combined with Chants or spells and drugs/incense/alcohol and dancing are also very Good. For short cuts concentration, Dancing, Blood or Breath Control, Scourging, and the Great Rite are excellent.