Dream Dictionary: Sex

Sex

To dream about sex refers to the integration and merging of contrasting aspects of yourself. It represents psychological completion. You need to be more receptive and incorporate aspects of your dream sex partner into your own character. Consider the nature of the love-making. Was it passionate? Was it slow? Was it wild? The sex act parallels aspects of yourself that you wish to express. A more direct interpretation of the dream may be your libido's way of telling you that it has been too long since you have had sex. It may indicate repressed sexual desires and your needs for physical and emotional love. If you are looking for a place to have sex, then the dream may be analogous to your search for intimacy and closeness. You want to rekindle some relationship. If you dream of having sex in a public place, then the dream implies that others are talking about your private relationship.

To dream about sex with someone other than your spouse or significant other suggests dissatisfaction with the physical side of your relationship. On the other hand, it may be harmless fantasy. In such situations, you may find that you are less inhibited sexually. Perhaps you need to bring the same sense of adventure into your existing relationship.

To dream that you are having sex with an ex or someone who is not your current mate denotes your reservations about embarking in a new relationship or situation. You may feel nervous about exposing yourself and are feeling a resurgence of those old emotions and feelings that you felt back when you and your ex were together. If you are approaching your wedding date, then is not uncommon to experience especially erotic adventures with partners other than your intended spouse. This may be due to the intensity of the sexual passion with your fianc�. It also relates to the new roles that you will be taking on and the uncertainty that that may bring.

To dream that you are having sex with a stranger represents uncertainty about what is ahead. Alternatively, the dream allows you to experiment freely without having any hang ups, emotional baggage or preconceived notions associated with a person you would know. In such a scenario, you are able to let loose and express your desires, passions and emotions. In particular, if you dream of having sex with multiple partners at the same time, then it indicates that you are feeling detached in your personal relationship. You feel that sex is just an act devoid of any emotion or passion. Perhaps your sex life has become too automated.

To dream that you are having sex with a friend refers to the closeness you share with your friend. Because you two share so much between each other and know so much about each other, the dreaming mind may depict this closeness as sex. Alternatively, such a dream indicates a level of attraction between you and your friend, but you are too afraid to act on it. Thus your desires are manifested in a dream.

If you are heterosexual and you dream that you are having sex with someone of the same sex, then it represents an expression of greater self love and acceptance. You need to be in better touch of your feminine or masculine side. The dream does not necessarily imply homosexual desire.

To dream that you are having sex with a celebrity indicates your drive to be successful. You are striving for recognition. Consider what movies you associate this celebrity with for clues as to where and what you want to achieve success in.

To see others having sex in your dream refers to your own desires of being more adventurous in your own sex life.

To see your parents having sex in your dream indicate that you are seeing similar aspects between their relationship and your current relationship. Most cringe at the thought of your parents having sex, so this dream imagery is really trying to get your attention. Consider your parents' real life relationship together and what you can learn from it.

To dream that you are the opposite sex suggests that you need to incorporate certain qualities of the opposite sex. Ask yourself how do you feel being a man or a woman? In what ways can you incorporate those feelings into your waking life.

Sex Toy

To see or use a sex toy in your dream suggests that you are feeling unsatisfied in some area of your life, which may or may not relate to sex. There is a void in your life. Alternatively, the dream may be a play on words and that you are not taking sex seriously. Perhaps you have an immature attitude towards sex. More directly, the dream indicates your desires for a more gratifying and/or exciting sex life.


Sexuality

To dream about your own sexuality signifies the secrets and meaning of life. You may be dealing with life issues of birth, marriage, and/or death. Alternatively, the dream suggests that you are concerned about losing your sex appeal.

Have a Sexy Beltane!

Samhain’s light twin, Beltane is the polar opposite of the Witches’ New Year. The term Beltane, Bealteinne, or Beltaine are used for this holy day in reference to the bale fires lit, a tradition that stems from the celebration of the Celtic god Bel, Beli or Belinus who can be traced to the Middle Eastern god Baal. Other names for the Sabbat include Kalenda Maia, Roodmas, Walpugis, May Day, or simply May.

While Beltane is a festival of Life and fertility, it is also a festival of death. This is a time in ancient years past in which a sacrifice might have been made in order to ensure the fertility of the land and the prosperity of the many. This sacrifice in today’s rituals is purely symbolic but still holds the abundant magic of old. The magic of Beltane held such deep significance for the Celts that many important historic occasions were said to have taken place on that date including the settling of Ireland by the Tuatha De Danan.

Activities for the holy day include dancing around a May Pole, which is still done today. The pole itself is made from birch, one of the nine sacred trees of the Druids and is a phallic symbol that is planted deeply and firmly into Mother Earth. The pole also represents the movement of energy between Father Sky and Mother Earth that is further symbolized by the spiraling of ribbons down the pole during a May Pole dance.

A May Queen and King are also selected. The Queen is usually a maiden selected by the community for her beauty or other generous endowments. She either selects the King or he is selected by some activity as a foot race, a hunt, or having climbed the May Pole itself. The two represent the Mother Goddess and the Hunter and their union on this holy day.

The visitation of sacred sites, especially standing stones, is popular during this time. In olden days, offerings of milk and honey and herbs were given to these stones. It was believed that passing of a babe, an ill person or initiates through a hollow of a stone gave them protection and cured disease.

As a day of fertililty, this is also a day in which romance is in the air, especially for young people. Young women would wake early, before dawn, on Beltane to go out into the fields and wash their faces in the first dew of the day in order to obtain beauty to lure a mate. Young couples take to the hills, newly plowed lands, and forests to energize the soil with their…activities.

Though romance is high on this day, it is said to be unlucky to marry on Beltane. In fact, the Celts often held divorce procedures on this day! This belief may be due to the tendency to be a little cavalier in ones sex life during this Sabbat.


Correspondences for Beltane

• Deities: The Mother Goddess Eartha, Demeter, Mati Suira Zemlya, Yemaya, Gaia, and others; the God in his aspect as Huntsman and Consort; Bel.
• Herbs: Almond, Belladonna, Clover, Frankincense, Hawthorn, Ivy, Marigold, Meadowsweet, Orchid Root, Rose, Rowan, Sorrel, Woodruff
• Stones: Malachite, garnet, rose quartz, emerald, beryl, tourmaline.
• Foods: Fresh fruits and vegetables, flowers are in everything including salads, sweets of all kinds such as candied violets and honeyed roses.
• Libation: May wine, honey mead, fruit punches

Suggestions for Sex Magic

Beltane is a great time for using that fertility magic for creation - if you're trying to have a baby this a fine time to harness that cosmic power for conception. If you're an artist, see if you can't use that power for inspiration. If you grow your own food or simply want to send some loving energy to Earth Mama, perform sex magic outside and let the creative energy seep into the land. 

Other Sexy Posts
Let's Talk About Beltane Sex, Baby! by The Coexist Cafe
Fertility Ritual and Sex Magick for Ostara and Beltane by Ed/Dragon

Self-Blessing Breast Blessing

In the Witch's Brew Spell Deck by Witch Bree there are two spells of self-blessing I love and I think they could go very well together. I wanted to share them here in hopes my readers find them as helpful as I have.

Self-Blessing

"The Time You Take to restore yourself is previous. Perform a self-blessing every day. Take dried sage and aromatic lavender and tie it up in a muslin sack. Breathe in the aroma deeply three times. Beginning at the top of your head, the crown chakra, pass the pouch down to your feet, gently touching your other sacred chakras: throat, solar plexus, stomach, and pelvis. Then, holding the bag of herbs over your heart and speak aloud:
Gone are sorrows, illness, and woe,
Here wisdom and health begin to flow.
My heart is whole, joy fills my soul. 
Blessed be me."

Breast Blessing

"Celebrate The Beauty Of Your Body. Take one cup of natural beeswax and heat very slowly. Add one-quarter cup sesame oil and sir until the wax has melted. Let it cool to skin temperature and add:

Eight drops sandalwood oil + Five drop lemon oil 

Two drops rose oil

Anoint yourself with the oil slowly, gently, and lovingly as you cup each breast and chant:
We all come from the Goddess. I am she; she is me. 
My breasts are holy and beautiful. 
I love myself, I love my body, I am consecrated.
Your temple is not prepared for love!"

Apology to the Divine Feminine

I found this in a FetLife forum and loved it so much I wanted to share it. Be sure to also read Apology to the Sacred Masculine.

APOLOGIES TO THE DIVINE FEMININE

I apologize for my inability to distinguish the benevolent warrior from the heartless warrior, a reflection of my own confusion dealing with the battlefields of yore. When I opened my heart too wide, I was vulnerable to attack from warring factions. I was conditioned to believe that I had to stay rigid, focused, prepared for any eventuality, in the desire to protect myself and others from attack. But I went too far, and closed too tight, and eradicated the bridge between our hearts. I am seeing this now and I am sorry.

I apologize for my perpetual absence, a reflection of my own inner absence, my inability to connect from a heart jammed tight by unresolved emotions that I did not have the tools to work through. I still lack many of these tools, but I am open to their emergence.

I apologize for my inability to distinguish relationship from war. Like a warrior in enemy territory, I would sneak in and out of your life in the night, plundering and selfishly taking what I needed, then crawling back to the other side of the abyss with the spoils. I gave little back for fear that I would become vulnerable to attack. I had war on the brain and I could not see the river of love waiting on the other side of the battlefield. I now recognize that love is the antidote for the armoured warrior, but I could not drink the antidote in my driven state.

I apologize for not seeing you, my eyes blinded by congealed rage and unshed tears. If it is any consolation, and I imagine it is not, I could not see myself either. I saw only that which served my hyper-vigilance, my warrior focus. My mirror was a battlefield.

I apologize for my ungrounded materialism, my power driven tyrannies, my obsession with accumulation. Somehow I imagined that accumulation would protect me and those close to me, but I failed to recognize that it just perpetuated the madness. I also apologize for my egoic abuses, a reflection of my own misguided ego, pumped up to deal with an inherently competitive world. I couldn’t distinguish the healthy, confident ego from the cocky, unhealthy ego. I went much too far in the wrong direction.

I apologize for a sexuality that was objectifying and disconnected from the heart. I know you longed for real intimacy, a merging of our souls along the heart-genital highway. But there were too many defences around my heart, and no bridge could form between our souls. There were moments when your loving ways freed me from my body masks, but I had no template to stand in that heart-fire. I am sorry for this, for I know that the path you longed for was the path to God.

I apologize for my horrifying acts of violence, a reflection of my own congealed rage, my own inability to distinguish real enemies from friends. There are no words that can undo what I have done in those moments of madness. I know this, I do. I would hide my face in shame, but that won’t make things better. I need to own my misdeeds, and then find a way to believe in my capacity to move from a more loving place. I call out to other male warriors to be accountable for the actions of our gender, not in a way that is self-hating, but in a way that is courageously self-honest and genuinely compassionate. The heartfelt warrior acknowledges the error of his ways, and has the courage to do all he can to make amends over time.

I apologize for my inability to develop a conscious relationship. You were right there with your beautiful heart on your sleeve but I was too attached to my individualism and afraid of this unknown terrain. I know the forests, the marketplace and the ways of the outer world so well, but my inner geography is foreign to me. You called me to a place I was ill-prepared to go, although I sensed, below the surface of my bravado, that you called me home.

I am grateful for your willingness to believe that who I was in those rare moments of vulnerability was the real me. You were right- the real me lives inside of my heart- but a few moments now and then was the most I could handle. I saw you as dangerous, for in your presence I began to taste a surrendered way of being. Nonetheless, your faith in my goodness kept me going through many a battle, and restored my faith in life when I most needed it. You were the light at the end of a barbaric tunnel, and I am blessed.

I am grateful that you stuck with me through thick and thin, and I also understand those times you had to give up and let go. I now recognize that there is meaningful difference between a love-ship and a relationship. Love alone is not enough. Without a shared willingness to become conscious, there can only be frustration. I was so often impossible, clinging to my unconsciousness like a soldier clings to his weapons. I recognize the courage it took for you to keep your heart open in the presence of my resistance. You had every right to seek an authentic relationship, as your spirit was ignited in its presence. Your beautiful heart had every right to be met in its openness and willingness. I am grateful for the time you gave me, a moments respite from the hiding places I mistakenly called home.

I am grateful for Grandmother, for no one saw my tenderness more clearly. I am grateful for Mother, for choosing to bring me into being and for nourishing my body until I could find my feet. I am grateful for Mother Earth, for grounding my expansion and enlivening my spirit. I am grateful for the Divine Mother, the real Mother of us all. I now feel her divine presence, so close. Fiercely compassionate, she was always right here, breathing life into me, holding me safe. I sit in her lap as she breathes me.

I look forward to the day when the only thing that ignites relationship is two souls calling out to one another, two soul-hearts beating in the same direction, a whisper of longing that bridges one essence to another. I want to want you not because it gratifies my ego, not because you are outwardly beautiful, but because your very presence invites my Godself out of hiding. I want to touch you with my heart on my sleeve, to know chemistry between us that is not gender identified, but that is essence sourced, loves liquid lava flowing from the heart to the genitals to the great beyond. In this love-struck world, relationship will always be experienced as spiritual practice, a devotional expression of our God-self.

I had always believed that sensitivity is impossible to hold to in a harsh world. Yet in this moment, I feel sensitive, but without the fragility. I am still wearing armor but there is a shift in the direction of my intensity. I can linger in the heart-space a little longer than I once could, I am softening in places. After so many lifetimes with weapon in hand, a tenderling warrior is being birthed in the core of my being. He is confused, but he intuitively knows that this is the way home.

Please don’t give up on me or my fellow warriors. Forgive us our misdeeds, or, at the least, be open to the possibility that we will change as the trail expands to meet our shifting intentionality. The day will come when our warrior spirit loses its harsh edge, and comes into alignment with benevolent action. Some of us are already there, and many more of us will follow. The road to transformation is dependent on a bridge between genders, a benevolent bridge that celebrates our differences with respect and kindness. That work must begin with healing the rifts along the gender continuum, working hard to heal the collective heart until one day we can stand on a bridge across forever, hands held together, hearts open and alight, embracing the sacred masculine and divine feminine living at the heart of us all. I will meet you there.

May you feel the love of the Divine Mother crashing down on your heartfelt shores, graciously lifting you up above the madness of the world, nestling you in the grateful arms of those you have nurtured. Those of us who have received your blessings may not always acknowledge it, but your acts of love have landed within us, growing us stronger and infusing us with love’s light. Thank you.

© Jeff Brown, 2010 (www.soulshaping.com)

Apology to the Sacred Masculine

I found this in a FetLife forum and loved it so much I wanted to share it. Be sure to also read Apology to the Divine Feminine.

"APOLOGIES TO THE SACRED MASCULINE

I apologize for those moments when I couldn’t see beyond my projections to your true nature. With so much relational trauma in the rear view mirror, I couldn’t distinguish the heartless from the benevolent warrior. With my lens blurred by unhealed emotions, I was unable to see you in your wholeness. I unknowingly projected my negative expectations without recognizing those moments when you were moving from love. Please forgive me my projections, and know that below my pain was a heart that genuinely longed to merge with yours.

I apologize for pushing you to open your heart when you weren’t ready. I longed to be met in my openness, and I couldn’t bear the disconnect between us. I am nourished by direct communication, and I took your silence personally. I didn’t understand the relationship between your detachment and your warrior conditioning. I do see this now. From the beginning, you have been cast in the role of warrior protector and your emotional armour was fundamental to your task. Without it, you would not have been able to remain vigilant on the battlefield, nor succeed in the competitive marketplace. As our world moves away from survivalism as a way of being, I am hopeful that you will feel safe enough to live from an open heart. Such beautiful light comes through that opening.

I apologize for not always seeing your limitations and struggles. There were times when I could not see past my expectations and fantasies. I had grown up with a fairy tale of a great knight that would save me, and I clung to that vision, preferring the perfection projection to the reality of humanness. As a result, I didn’t always see how much stress you carried, how difficult things were, how hard it was to hold it all together. Of course, we perpetuated the projection together- you hid your humanness from view while I chose not to look for it. I look forward to the day when our relationships are not predicated on illusions, but on a deep recognition of each other’s authenticity.

I apologize for giving you mixed messages about how I wanted you to manifest. At times, I wanted you to be soft and tender. At other times, dominant and protective. How confusing this must have been for you, how challenging to go back and forth between such differing feeling states. It has been so confusing for all of us, trying to straddle the line between our needs for both safety and vulnerability. One day, the perversions of polarity will fall away and we will arrive at a sacred balance between all healthy ways of being. Women will feel safe to assert their voice and embody their wholeness, and men will feel equally safe disarming and speaking from their vulnerability. On the rivers of essence, everything flows in the same direction- towards the ocean of wholeness.

I apologize for being passive aggressive towards you. I was not taught to express anger directly, and I was frightened of your aggressiveness. I know that you have had similar challenges with experiencing your sadness and releasing your tears. In the world we are moving towards, I am hopeful that both genders will have seamless access to all emotional states and healthy forms of expression.

I am sorry that I expected you to fill my emptiness, when the only one who can fill it is me. I have often looked for answers in relationship, somehow imagining that another could complete me. After so many centuries of disempowerment, I didn’t realize that I had the tools for my own self-creation. But I am recognizing it now. Where before we met as two fragmented beings, we will soon meet as two whole beings- each of us healthily boundaried, well-integrated and intrinsically complete. Two soulitudes.

I am grateful for all those moments when you held me safe and operated within the heart of compassion. The backlash of recent decades was a necessary response to generations of suffering, but many of your contributions got lost in the shuffle. In my efforts to find my voice and stand my ground, I have not always given credit where it is due. I encourage you to re-claim anything you have lost along the way, and to proudly embody the sacred masculine as you once did. I apologize for those moments when I discouraged your power. I could not distinguish it from its historical misuses.

I am grateful for the many positive contributions you have made to my reality. I realize that you often communicated your love for me and the village with deeds, not words. I thank you for helping to construct the structures that my expansion relies upon. I thank you for labouring long and hard to establish rule of law. I honour the warrior spirit that built the railroads, the cities, the bridges that bring us into contact with one another. I honour those warriors who fought and died on battlefields in an effort to protect us. You have sacrificed so much in order to hold us safe. Praise to those benevolent warriors who came before.

I am grateful for GrandFather, for holding the space for my expansion with patience and wisdom. I am grateful for Father, for defending and sheltering me. I am grateful for Father Sky, for showing me a vision of possibility that transcended my circumstances. I am grateful for the Divine Father, the real Father of us all. I now feel his divine presence, so close. Fiercely compassionate, he was always right here, holding me safe.

There has been so much blame between us, so much hatred and name-calling. To be sure, it is essential that we express our anger and heal our hearts. Nothing should be swept under the rug in that process, everything should be exposed. But it is also important that we have compassion for each other and endeavour to understand the context for our actions. We have all been victims of a sociological landscape that impacted on our identifications and behaviours. Like two different species in the same bed, we were compelled by circumstances to inhabit roles that kept us miles apart. Those roles have caused us great suffering, each gender suffering in its own way. To the extent that one gender was denied wholeness, the other was denied it as well. Women were denied the right to basic protections and pathways of expression, men were denied access to a tender, receptive way of being. No one got off easy, despite appearances.

As we move towards a more enheartened interface, may we create space for new visions of possibility. We must begin the process by healing the genderation gap that exists between us. We must soften the edges perpetuated by our reactivities. We must heal the rifts along the gender continuum that keep us apart. In my most clarified imaginings, I envision a world that fully celebrates the healthy feminine and the healthy masculine. Instead of throwing all gender differences out with the bath water, we make a conscious distinction between benevolent and destructive identifications. We craft a sacred balance of our healthiest aspects. Each of us identifies the unique fusion of feminine and masculine energies that aligns with our essential nature. And we openly learn from one another -men teach healthy manifestation, women teach healthy womanifestation- and we come to humanifestation together. We meet each other in our entirety.

May we never forget the relational and co-transformative nature of human expansion. Although the ultimate romance is with your own soul, it is our experiences together that give birth to the essential lessons. We are each here to participate in this dance of sacred imagination, stepping on each other’s toes and turning each other toward God one clumsy step after another. We trip, and then we get back up with greater awareness. With this in heart, I am hopeful that we can learn to accept one another in our humanness. We are going to continue to make mistakes, but there is grace in that if we see our errors through to the lessons they contain.

I look forward to the day when we can meet one another in our true nakedness, stripped free of unresolved emotions, pain-induced projections, the distortions of duality. For too long we have been on opposite sides of the river, the bridge between our hearts washed away by a flood of pain. But the time has come to construct a new bridge, one that comes into being with each step we take, one that is fortified with benevolent intentions and authentic self-revealing. As we walk toward one another, our emotional armour falls to the ground, transforming into the light at its source. And when we are ready, we walk right into the Godself at the centre of the bridge, puzzled that we ever imagined ourselves separate.

May you feel the presence of the Divine Mother close at heart, inviting you to rest deeply on the tender shores of your own essence, nestling you in the grateful arms of those you have protected. Those who have received your blessings may not always acknowledge it, but your acts of love have landed within us, growing us stronger and infusing us with love’s light. Rest dear warrior, rest. I hold your heart safe."

© Jeff Brown, 2011 (Author of ‘Soulshaping- A Journey of Self-Creation’; www.soulshaping.com)