Stunted Femininity

A dear friend of mine wrote about how society has its story of women and who they are. She spoke about scripts that Society places for women: “Women are weak, women are lesser, women have to struggle to place themselves where men naturally find themselves, women are catty, women are 2 faced, women can’t be trusted, women gossip entirely too much…”
All you have to do to see these scripts is look on a social media site like Facebook and see some of the popular memes about women.

This story, from my point of view, has two female characters for the most part - the Harlot and the Virgin. These two are called two different things in media and movies, stories and newspapers. There's the girl next door and the girl every guy knows a little too well; the bad girl and the girl behind the books and glasses. The Harlot inevitably becomes the Bitch and the Virgin becomes the Frigid Bitch.

In the end both concepts come does to disrespect and sadly have led to women disrespecting themselves and falling into these roles and scripts as if it is expected of them. It's like an actor being type-casted until there is no longer a definition between the part they play and who they really are.

The point of this post was not to go on a liberal feminist tangent, however. With my friend's post there was also a request - "How did you manage to strip society’s story away and live your own?"

Tips Tools and Testimony

The first step is, like addiction, admitting that there is a problem. Most women don't see that there is a problem. They laugh at slut jokes and roll their eyes at men who belittle women, thinking that this is how it has always been and simply how it will always be.
Seeing that there is, indeed, an issue can open your eyes to how to fix it, sometimes. Sometimes, all it takes is bringing self-confidence and self-worth back into your life. Sometimes, that's easier said than done.

Build a Foundation for Your Femininity
Once you've seen that there is a problem with stunted femininity in your life, you can start to seek out what it is you would rather be. What is the strong female persona you would like to cultivate?
Seek out good role models for this strong female. I found role models in people like Angela Stokes-Monarch who transformed her health and her life naturally; Cat Yronwode who is one of the leading experts on Hoodoo in the US even though she is a white woman of Jewish descent; Zeena Schreck who came out of an abusive upbringing in the media and became one of the leading women of the Left Hand Path; the list continues.
Seek out your own idea of the Divine Feminine. Even if you are a Christian, Muslim or even Agnostic or Atheist. What is it about humanity, specifically women, that you find truly sacred or beautiful.
Use these things to build on.

Meditation - I thank you, I love you, I'm sorry, I forgive you
One of the issues I've found common among most women who are struggling to get out of the scripts of society is that they also are struggling to break away from the scripts placed on them by family, specifically their mothers.
This meditation is one that I learned from Angela in one of the Raw Food World Videos.

Sit in a relaxed position. If you normally meditate, use the position you are most comfortable with. If you are new to meditation, try sitting cross-legged or laying down (if you know you will not fall asleep this way).
Close your eyes and take a few long, deep breaths.
Visualize yourself in your mother's womb. You are warm and safe and loved here.
Now connect with your mother. If visualization helps, imagine a silver connection cord between your heart and hers.
Through that cord or connection, send the following message:
I thank you, I love you, I'm sorry, I forgive you
Keep this going as your mantra until you feel the bond between yourself and your mother strengthen and heal. This may take a few attempts, depending on your relationship.
After, visualize your mother in your grandmother's womb and repeat the process. Then, repeat with your grandmother in her mother's womb. Go as far back as you can or as you feel necessary.
This exercise will not only heal any scripts your mother may have placed upon you but will also mend family karma through the matriarchal line.

Crystal Grid for Self-Worth
Crystals and crystal therapy have been used for some time to aid mental, physical and emotional problems. I created a crystal grid to build and aid self-worth and self-value when I found myself not seeing the many gifts I have and when I did I always felt there something more that I needed in order to be taken seriously.

Stones for Self-Worth Grid

• Clear Quartz is an all-around use stone. 
• Rose Quarts and/or Rhodochrosite for self-love
• Rhyolite for self-worth
• Howelite for emotional expression
• Red Jasper for personal independance and to dispel fears in the night. 
• Alexandrite for low self-esteem
• Hemitite for self-esteem and grounding
• Magnesite eliminates self-deceit
• Agate for dealing with feelings such as envy and fear of not living up to the expectation of others
• Fluorite for moving past the chatter of the mind to find our center
• Moonstone helps eliminate fear of feeling.
• Peridot aids in healing hurt feelings and damaged egos.
• Unikite helps detach from the old ways of doing things. 
• Stones of change as you transform from the image that others place upon you to the image you desire to project such as Botswana agate, Malachite and Peacock Ore.

To create a crystal grid place the stones into a shape (a circle, square, hexagram, etc) and place a stone in the center that sends the energy generated out into to the world or into you. Use a wand, such as a quartz point, to connect the points to the central point. There are many videos on YouTube that explain gridding.

Become In Tune with Your Body
Women have fallen out of sync with their bodies, especially when it comes to the cycle that makes us female - menstruation. We call it The Curse, or a visit from the dreaded Aunt Flo. We stop it up, perfume it, even take medication to prevent it from happening.
We hear men say "never trust something that bleeds for five days straight and doesn't die."
While we are privileged to not live in a country where we are sequestered and mistreated when we're on our periods, locked away like something vile, we are still abused for something that is so natural and so sacred.

By becoming more in-tune with our bodies and our menstrual cycle, we can become empowered by it.
I don't necessarily mean create menstrual finger paintings or wear pants with out blood on the crotch to force people to recognize it.
I do recommend keeping track of your cycle, every part of it from period to ovulation. This will not only give you an idea of how intricate our body's workings are but also help empower yourself in other areas such as contraception.
(I'll be writing more about why the menstrual cycle is sacred at a later date).

I hope that these exercises and techniques help you to find what the true script of your womanhood and your life truly is.

Blessings